The Price Master | Ep. 260 | Circle Round

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How much would you say an apple is worth? Or an orange? How about a box of colored pencils or a deck of cards?

When we’re buying and selling things, they all have a certain price. But how do we make sure that price is fair?

In this week’s story we’ll meet two characters with very different ideas about when the price is right… and when the price is wrong.

Our tale is called “The Price Master.” We found versions from the South Asian country of India.

This episode was the second of three recorded live at Tanglewood, summer home of the Boston Symphony Orchestra, in Lenox, Massachusetts. Joining host Rebecca Sheir on stage was a star-studded cast of actors: Adam Goldberg, Gideon Irving, Faith Salie and Thomas Warfield.

Providing musical accompaniment under the direction of composer Eric Shimelonis was a world-class quintet from the BSO: Chris Elchico on clarinet, Clint Foreman on flute, Cathy French on violin, Ben Levy on double bass and Suzanne Nelsen on bassoon.

This episode was adapted for Circle Round by Rebecca Sheir. It was edited by Dean Russell. Original music and sound design is by Eric Shimelonis. Our artist is Sabina Hahn.

GROWN-UPS! PRINT THIS so everyone can color while listening. We’re also keeping an album so please share your picture on Facebook and Instagram, and tag it with #CircleRoundPodcast. To access all the coloring pages for past episodes click HERE. Our resident artist is Sabina Hahn and you can learn more about her HERE.

Now It’s Your Turn

Like the horse dealer and price maker, you can make your own disguise!

With help from a grown-up, scour your home for everyday items like hats, gloves, glasses, scarves, masks – anything to make yourself unrecognizable.

Once you’ve put on your disguise, we’d love to see it! Ask a grown-up to snap a photo and email it to [email protected]. With your permission, we may feature you in “The Lion’s Roar”: the monthly newsletter of the Circle Round Club! Learn more about this super-fun opportunity for super-fans like you here.

Script:

NARRATOR: In another land, in another time, there lived a queen. Inside her colossal palace, the queen had dozens upon dozens of ministers, counselors and advisors, all tasked with attending to her every need.

Among these attendants was an official known as the price maker. The price maker’s job was to set a fair price for anything the queen wished to buy or sell.

The price maker was an honest man. But as such, he often counseled the queen to pay more than she would have liked when she bought… and to charge less than she would have liked when she sold.

The queen was very wealthy, but eventually she was overcome… by greed. She decided that she did not wish to pay such high prices, or charge such low ones. So, eager to make more of a profit, she called the price maker into her chambers to deliver some news.

QUEEN: Price maker. I have decided that your services are no longer needed at the palace. I shall hire someone to replace you. Immediately.

NARRATOR: The price maker was dismayed – and dumbfounded. But he just gave the queen a sad smile.

PRICE MAKER: I’m sorry if I have disappointed you, Your Majesty. It has been a privilege to be in your service. I hope my successor is every bit as honest and humble as I tried to be.

NARRATOR: Well, as it turns out, that was not the case. In terms of “honesty”... when the price maker’s successor came on board, he decided that instead of naming the fairest price for things…

PRICE MASTER: … I shall name the BEST price! Meaning, whichever price makes the queen HAPPIEST! I’ll make sure she buys at ridiculously low prices and sells at ridiculously high ones. Her profits will be huge!

NARRATOR: And as for being “humble,” well…? His first day on the job the new price maker decided that actually, he would no longer be referred to as “the price maker.” Instead…?

PRICE MASTER: …I shall be referred to as the price MASTER! After all, I’m the one who shall masterfully fill the queen’s coffers until she’s the richest ruler in all the world!

NARRATOR: And indeed, thanks to the price maker’s wily – (gets cut off before “ways”)

PRICE MASTER: (cutting off/correcting) MASTER! Price MASTER!

NARRATOR: Right. Thanks to the price master’s wily ways, the queen made quite the fortune.

One day, a horse dealer from another land arrived at the palace. He brought with him a magnificent team of one-hundred stallions, mares and colts, with hopes of selling them to the queen.

QUEEN: Welcome to my kingdom, good sir. Your horses are very fine.

DEALER: Thank you, Your Majesty! I have taken great care of my team, and can assure you they are of the finest quality.

QUEEN: I do not doubt it! And I wish to buy them all.

DEALER: That is wonderful news, Your Majesty! If you wish to purchase this entire team of horses, then I would humbly ask you to pay the price of – (gets cut off before he can continue)

PRICE MASTER: (interrupting) Uh uh uh! Not so fast!

NARRATOR: The dealer’s startled eyes flicked over to the price master.

DEALER: I’m sorry, sir? What seems to be the problem?

PRICE MASTER: The problem… is YOU! Getting up there on your high horse – if you will – and believing that YOU can name the price? That’s MY job, fella!

DEALER: Oh! I do apologize. You must be the queen’s royal price maker.

PRICE MASTER: MASTER! Price MASTER! (beat) And as such, I call the shots when it comes to naming the price of this and that. (pause) Isn’t that true, Your Majesty?

QUEEN: It IS true. (beat) So tell me, price master. How much do you think I should pay for this team of one-hundred splendid horses?

PRICE MASTER: Well…? Let me see. They appear to have shiny coats… strong bodies… solid hooves… decent teeth, though their breath leaves much to be desired. I’d say you should pay… ONE CUP OF RICE.

DEALER: One cup of rice????

NARRATOR: The dealer blinked his eyes in disbelief.

DEALER: With all due respect… My horses are worth far more than ONE CUP OF RICE! I’d say they’re worth an entire CHEST of GOLD! At the very least!

QUEEN: That’s what YOU say, dealer. But my price master is… well… he’s the MASTER!

PRICE MASTER: (faux humble) Aw shucks!

QUEEN: And though he IS fairly new to the job, he is never wrong. He’s quite the genius, really!

PRICE MASTER: (faux humble) Aw, don’t mention it! … Actually, DO! DO mention it! As much as you’d like!

QUEEN: Therefore, sir, I shall have my treasurer pay you one cup of rice. Or, more appropriately, I shall have my cook pay you. She makes the lightest, fluffiest, tastiest rice ever, and I’m sure she’d be happy to pack up one cup’s worth in a doggy bag!

DEALER: I’m certain your cook’s rice IS light, fluffy and tasty, Your Majesty. But please. If you truly believe that my horses are worth just one cup of rice, then I must tell you that – (gets cut off)

PRICE MASTER: (brusquely interrupting/finishing Dealer’s sentence) …That you appreciate the queen’s kind and generous offer? Lest she have you arrested and thrown into the dungeon?

NARRATOR: The dealer was gobsmacked. But, not wishing to make a fuss – or become a prisoner – he just slumped his shoulders and dropped his horses off at the stable.

Moments later, with a doggy bag of rice in hand, the dealer trudged back toward the inn where he was renting a room. His head hung low and his eyes were slick with tears. And as he rounded a corner in the town square, who should he bump right into…

DEALER: (as he collides) (GASP!) I’m so sorry!

NARRATOR: …but the former royal price maker!

PRICE MAKER: No need to apologize! I’m fine. (beat) Luckily you didn’t spill whatever’s in your bag!

DEALER: That IS lucky – given that it’s all I have left.

PRICE MAKER: What do you mean? Have you fallen on hard times?

DEALER: You could say that.

PRICE MAKER: Can you tell me what happened?

NARRATOR: The dealer heaved a sigh, then told the sad story of his recent dealings with the queen – and with the price master.

PRICE MAKER: The “price MASTER”...? Is that what my successor is calling himself?? I was always content with “price MAKER.”

DEALER: (gasp!) Wait a minute!

NARRATOR: The dealer’s eyes grew wide.

DEALER: YOU were once the royal price maker?

PRICE MAKER: I WAS once the royal price maker. And it seems my successor is a real TROUBLE maker. (beat) But fear not, my friend. I shall get you out of this mess. Meet me here in the town square tomorrow morning. Then you and I shall head to the palace.

DEALER: Head to the palace? After what happened today, I don’t dare show my face there again!

PRICE MAKER: Don’t worry, my friend. You WON’T be showing your face. And I won’t be showing MY face. (dramatic, slow) But if this plan works, the price “master” will LOSE face… and the queen will FACE the facts!

NARRATOR: What do you think the price maker is planning?

We’ll find out what the clever fellow is masterminding, after a quick break.

[BREAK]

NARRATOR: I’m Rebecca Sheir and welcome back to Circle Round, live at Tanglewood in Lenox, Massachusetts! Today our story is called “The Price Master.”

Before the break, a horse dealer offered to sell the queen his team of one-hundred horses. But when the queen asked her price maker to name – (gets interrupted)

PRICE MASTER: (cutting in/correcting) MASTER! Price MASTER! I was hoping that at least in the SECOND half of the story you could say my title correctly!

NARRATOR: Right. Of course. When the queen asked her price MASTER to name a fair price, he demanded that the dealer trade his horses for just ONE CUP OF RICE.

Well, when the former price maker heard what happened, he promised the dealer he would help. So the next morning, the two of them met in the town square.

PRICE MAKER: Greetings, my friend! I’ve brought a few things with me. I think you’re going to like them.

NARRATOR: The former price maker reached into a sack and pulled out two elegant suits, two shiny pairs of shoes, and a jar of soot. The dealer’s brow wrinkled in confusion.

DEALER: Ummm… If I may ask… what are we going to do with these things?

PRICE MAKER: We’re going to USE them! As DISGUISES!

DEALER: Disguises?

PRICE MAKER: Yes! We’ll put on these fancy duds and shoes and dress ourselves up as high-class gentlemen!

DEALER: What about the soot?

PRICE MAKER: We’ll use THAT to draw fancy beards and mustaches on our faces! We shall totally look the part – and nobody will recognize us. (beat) So get dressed, my friend. We haven’t a moment to lose!

NARRATOR: A little while later, the disguised duo were at the palace gates, asking to see the queen and price master. The palace guards completely fell for the men’s false get-ups. They immediately ushered the well-dressed fellows into the royal meeting hall… where the queen fell for their get-ups, too!

QUEEN: Welcome to the palace, gentlemen! It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance!

DEALER: (disguising voice) The pleasure is all ours, Your Majesty.

PRICE MAKER: (disguising voice) Yes! We are honored to be in your presence.

QUEEN: Thank you! So tell me. How may I help you today?

DEALER: (disguising voice) Well Your Majesty. My friend and I have journeyed to your palace to conduct some business.

PRICE MAKER: (disguising voice) That is correct! We would like to propose… a business transaction.

QUEEN: A business transaction? What sort of business transaction?

DEALER: (disguising voice) We would like to BUY something from you.

PRICE MAKER: (disguising voice) And we would like your royal price maker to name the price.

PRICE MASTER: (knee-jerk correcting) MASTER! (softening, not wanting to offend the gentlemen) (sheepish) I mean, MASTER. I’m the price MASTER. (beat) Anyway. You two fine gentlemen were saying you’d like to buy something…?

PRICE MAKER: (disguising voice) Yes! We would like to buy…

NARRATOR: The disguised former price maker dramatically paused.

PRICE MAKER: …ONE CUP OF RICE.

QUEEN: One cup of rice…?

NARRATOR: The queen cocked her crowned head.

QUEEN: You seriously wish to buy… one cup of rice?

DEALER: (disguising voice) We know it’s a rather unconventional request. But we’ve heard that your cook makes the lightest, fluffiest, tastiest rice ever!

PRICE MAKER: (disguising voice) Yes indeed! So how much would you charge for one cup of rice?

NARRATOR: The queen tapped a finger to her chin.

QUEEN: Well… if that’s what you truly wish to buy, then I defer to my trusty colleague here. (beat) Price master? How much would you say one cup of rice is worth?

NARRATOR: The price master scratched his head. The fact was, one cup of rice was worth next to nothing!

That said… clearly these high-class gentlemen were loaded. Their shoes and clothing reeked of money – even if their beards and mustaches were a little odd. Surely they could afford to shell out plenty of cash.

PRICE MASTER: Your Majesty. Excellent sirs. Given my exceptionally outstanding expertise in the field of naming prices, I would say that one cup of rice is worth… ONE chest of gold!

NARRATOR: The disguised men exchanged a look.

DEALER: (disguising voice) One chest of gold, you say…?

PRICE MAKER: (disguising voice) You believe that one cup of rice is worth one chest of gold…?

PRICE MASTER: I absolutely DO! At the very LEAST!

DEALER: (disguising voice) Well then…

PRICE MAKER: (disguising voice) If one cup of rice is worth one chest of gold…

NARRATOR: They gave each other a nod, then threw off their disguises.

PRICE MAKER: (no longer disguising voice) …Then my FRIEND’S HORSES are worth one chest of gold!!!!

DEALER: (no longer disguising voice) Since you paid me ONE CUP OF RICE for them!

NARRATOR: The price master’s jaw dropped so low it nearly hit the floor. He glared at the men with outrage.

PRICE MASTER: You rascally rogues! How dare you trick me like this?!?

QUEEN: And how dare YOU trick ME like this?!!!!

NARRATOR: Now it was the queen who glared with outrage – at the price master!

QUEEN: Ever since you got to the palace, you’ve been tricking me into charging too much and paying too little. I was so taken in by your devious ways that I forced this poor fellow to trade an entire team of magnificent horses for one measly cup of rice! (beat) (sigh) I should have listened to my price maker!

PRICE MASTER: MASTER, you mean! Your price MASTER…?

QUEEN: No! My price MAKER.

NARRATOR: The queen turned to her former attendant and his horse-dealing friend.

QUEEN: Gentlemen. I humbly apologize to you both. I foolishly allowed myself to get carried away in the quest to be richer. As a result, my behavior couldn't have been more poor. I am so very sorry.

NARRATOR: The queen was determined to make amends… starting with the horse dealer. Not only did she offer to give back his team of stallions, mares and colts, but she also threw in one chest of gold… and a dozen doggy bags of her cook’s light, fluffy, tasty rice.

As for the price maker, the queen invited him to return to his job at the palace. And he didn’t hesitate to say yes.

As for the OTHER character in our story…

PRICE MASTER: (sheepish) The price MASTER, you mean…?

NARRATOR: Not anymore! The duplicitous and disgraced fellow was ordered to pack up his things and leave at once. He never showed his face in the kingdom again. Because now everyone knew that the only thing he was truly “master” of… was greed.